Follow by Email

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

You Can't Microwave Lasagne!

     Amazing how many handicapped guys work on construction sites.

     Sean Coombs a/k/a Pdiddy has admitted to being a bed wetter as a child. He'll now be known as P did he?

     I went outside on March 1st after hearing Obama speak on the Sequester, but the sky was NOT falling.

     How come “light beer” is lo calorie, but light cream is not?

    If North Korea nukes California will Mexico declare war?

     Narcolepsy-a sleeping killer...

     A 13 y.o. Illinois student was threatened with suspension if he did not remove his Marines t-shirt. The T sported a pair of crossed rifles. The child was forced to turn it inside out or face disciplinary proceedings. Only a flaming liberal would see the harm in a picture of a gun. Hopefully the shirt wasn't loaded, and the instructor has recovered from her fright. Here's the backpedaling School Administration's response from their Facebook page:

We very much support the armed forces and were disheartened to learn of this matter through the media. The administration and school handbook agree that this shirt is not a violation of the dress code. We also take school safety very earnestly and it needs to be recognized that is a topic that we also take very seriously and support our students and staff in providing a safe environment to learn, teach and work in on a daily basis. We thank everyone for their continued support of our school and our school district.

      Not too many things rile me more than out of state registered cars sporting “Warren for Massachusetts” bumper stickers. You like her that much-let her be YOUR senator. #carpetbagger!

     When Obama said “I'm not a dictator”, all I could think of was Nixon claiming “I'm not a crook!” And we all know how THAT turned out...

     Forget “50 Shades”. Real sadism is your girl asking you to go shopping with her. Real masochism is saying yes...TAKE THAT Christian Grey!

     9 year old Brockton based rapper Lil Poopie is being investigated by DYS after his hip hop video went viral-the vid features the precocious potty mouthed prodigy slapping a gal on her ample backside, while extolling the virtues of “coke” (the sugary soft drink). Lil Poopie- how appropriate since rap music is crap anyway...

     Yoga pants are a privilege, not a right!

     21 Quincy cops were placed on suspension after their firearm licenses were found to be expired. Quincy requires a valid LTC in order to be armed at work. State, City and Police officials are working together to see this doesn't occur again. Funny, the Patrick Administration managed to find the cash to send out Voter Registration info to almost 500,000 Welfare recipients, but honest, hard working citizens (who pay for these bums) can't get a simple postcard their LTC or Driver's License for that matter is about to expire-go figure!

     Euro furniture chain IKEA is pulling their brand of Swedish meatballs from the shelves after they were possibly tainted with horse meat. Guess they had to do something with the leftovers after using the leather...

     Is it just me or do all Mumford & Sons' songs sound the same?

     Saw a guy walking in shorts on a cold snowy day. Couldn't figure out if he was tough or out of clean clothes.

     If you see baked goods labeled Vegan, you can be sure they'll be tasteless.

      The Boston Phoenix has closed its doors. After trashing the PAX didn't help, and revenues for call girl ads dwindled, they have gone out of business. We may have lost advertising revenue, but never had to stoop to offering our readers phone sex-unless you count hearing someone swear in the background when you phone over to the Union Hall. Long Live the PAX!!!

     The Death Penalty was referred to as “ Murder by the State” on a radio program I heard. The caller debated its effectiveness as a deterrent. I disagree, Prisoners subject to the Death Penalty have a 0% recidivism rate...

     Like millions of other Catholics worldwide, I was glued to the TV as a new Pope was announced. Pope Francis I was introduced amid much pomp and fanfare. One thing I noticed-members of the Swiss Guard, and Papal Security carried loaded weapons, complete with magazines locked in place, unlike Obama's Inaugural Parade where US Military personnel marched with empty rifles. File under: In God We Trust.

     I went to a Jamaican Restaurant and ordered the Jerk Chicken, but was upset when it was only mildly annoying.

      I'm totally convinced there is no parallel parking in the Third World.

     When I'm in traffic and see someone in a nearby car singing, I switch radio stations to try to find the song.

     A veteran Ohio Poll Worker; Melowese Richardson admitted voting twice (for Obama-shocker!) and faces charges she did it in 2008 and 2011. An 8 count indictment was handed down by Federal Authorities, after Richardson was worried her vote wouldn't count, but claimed “no intent on my part to commit voter fraud”. Hmmm I'd say a Poll Worker who doesn't recognize voting twice and voting under other peoples' names is voter fraud is incompetent-the stupid kind not the alleged racist code word kind. If convicted she could face up to 12 years in prison...think she'll serve a day? Cue the crickets...

     Why do back up goalies in the NHL sit on the bench with their gloves on but not their mask?

     Saying the stogies offered for sale in South End bodegas are cigars is like claiming the burgers at fast food joints are steak!

     I think those signs at the bus stop that show endangered species with tag lines like “ I am not a rug” should be in some other language. I don't know anyone who takes a prescription of rhino horn for their ailments.

     I hate parking next to that A$$#*!@ taking up two spaces in a crowded lot. Inevitably he's ALWAYS gone when you come out and YOU look like the A$$#*!@!!!

     ICE released a few thousand illegal alien criminals over budget issues related to the Sequestor, possibly endangering citizens. The White House denied any knowledge of the matter, claiming the decision was made by “career bureaucrats” at ICE. Really? When some other career Government employees did something the White House couldn't claim credit fast enough-paging Seal Team 6!

     European countries are running out of money, and restructuring debt, pensions, etc at an alarming rate. They simply cannot afford their entitlement programs and run a country. Greece, Spain, Portugal are for all intents and purposes broke and Cyprus proposed seizing assets from the savings accounts of its citizens. That being said, why does OUR Government continue to roll down this road, even though they know the bridge is out. I'll say this-if Uncle Sam tries to put his hands in our savings accounts you will see the working class riot.

     Worcester Rep Fresolo is in hot water after e-mailing pictures of his junk to a female staffer. What a Weiner!

     Do you ever wonder what kind of deal people got when you see them driving a car that's a horrible color?

     St Paddy's Day has continued its dominance over New Year's Eve as amateur hour. Who in their right mind would drink green beer at 8 in the morning?

      Don't forget the Commissioner's Cup! Come cheer on your district, grab a t-shirt, and find out who'll have bragging rights! Also please support Cops for Kids with Cancer Trivia Night on April 11 at Florian Hall. Can D-4 pull off the “Three-peat”?And for more of MY nonsense (hold for shameless self promoting plug) check out my blog: Uncensored, unedited and all my own opinions!

No comments:

Post a Comment