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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Tap-Dancing in a Minefield

                I recently went by a convenience store under renovation in the Back Bay. I wondered if the contractor had to factor in cost for compensation and or relocation of the panhandlers in his job estimate budget.
Now that Menino’s gone can we PLEASE have our candy and tonic machines back? I’ve been in plenty of City buildings that never lost theirs!
I’ve lived in Boston for my entire life. When I was a kid, pigeons were EVERYWHERE, and spying a hawk was a rare sight. Now it’s just the opposite.
After working several details in sub-zero weather this winter, I’m pretty sure the phrase “Frozen Stiff” should actually be “Frozen Shrunk”
Circumstance forced me to the Mass Registry of Motor Vehicles. I think it’s a lot like hell, only hell smells better…
We MUST protect the Ukraine at all costs, because if it falls, we will never be able to get Chicken Kiev again!
Speaking of the Ukraine, I don’t think the Russians are intimidated by Obama threatening to draw a line in the sand. It seems every time he does, and it’s crossed, he simply draws another one. Just ask Syria!
Has anyone ever barked up the right tree???
In the United Kingdom, interested parties can purchase citizenship for about $4 million dollars. Why would you waste your money like that-if you come to the US, we’ll pay YOU!
I went looking for a spoon in my cooler but couldn’t find one, what I did discover were enough plastic knives to stage a revival of “West Side Story” on an airplane.
Walter Williams, an elderly farmer passed away at his home, and was declared dead by the local coroner. His remains were transported to a Funeral Parlor, where Williams came to and began to move inside the body bag which was in the embalming room. After changing his underwear, the undertaker phoned EMS. Williams was revived and survived for another two weeks, when he finally passed away for good. It’s rumored his last words were: “Be sure to get a second opinion THIS TIME!”
If one more person uses the GPS excuse I’m going to flip! You know, “sorry officer, my GPS sent me down the one-way, through the red light, etc”-you get the picture. Same goes for “Where can I park?”
Mikeala Shiffrin, 19years old, and a U.S. Olympic Skier won gold in Sochi. When you win a Gold Medal at nineteen, does it all go downhill from there?
Please mind your business! A busybody decided police needed to be called to investigate kids playing “pond hockey” on the Muddy River in the Fenway. With the temperature hovering in the teens for several days prior, and the depth of the Muddy River less than 5 feet, I think the possibility of “sudden death” would have been from a tie or frostbite rather than drowning.
A radio ad for WIC really makes my blood boil. It consists of women cackling about all the great things you can buy with your WIC benefits-with one eyeing the full grocery cart and exclaiming “look at all that stuff did you win the lottery?”  Yes, she did win the lottery, and we (taxpayers) bought the ticket!
I always laugh at those commercials that show the well dressed housewife in the huge home, cleaning with the featured product. She buzzes about her giant house in a dress wiping and shining every surface until it sparkles. C’mon in the real world a home that size would come with a team of housekeepers and the wife would be sitting around with a cocktail, making sure they didn’t steal anything.
With so many things bearing the former Mayor’s moniker, it’s easy to confuse visitors to our fair city. Simply tell them to take a turn at the Menino (park, bike, building, ball field, flower garden, port-a-potty, etc) They’ll be going in circles for hours.
In Colorado, an illegal alien is suing the local first responders who rescued him from his vehicle, after he was trapped by flood waters. Roy Ortiz has made no bones about it-he’s only looking for money, claiming rescuers should have got him out sooner. I truly hope the judge in this case does the right thing and throws the case and Ortiz out.
A California State Senator, Leland Yee, has been charged with trafficking in illegal weapons. Yee promised FULL AUTO Rifles and Shoulder Fired Rockets to an undercover FBI Agent, for $2 million. Yee claimed he could get the weapons from Muslim Terrorists based in the Philippines. In an ironic twist, the senator authored and supported many of California’s tough gun laws-you know, the ones that apply only to law abiding citizens, not Yee, or his terrorist buddies, not to mention his gang banging organized crime associates. Yee also legislated Driver’s Licenses for Illegal Aliens, and blocked Law Enforcement from turning illegals over to Federal Authorities for Deportation. Oh and did I mention, he’s a DEMOCRAT!

Speaking of Illegals and driver’s licenses, Massachusetts is entertaining the prospect, claiming it will make our roads safer. Whoever came up with this one must already be using the medical marijuana. If you’re a bad driver with no insurance, a simple piece of paper isn’t going to change things one bit. A Driver’s License would also allow access to State benefits (although I don’t think they’re hard to come by without one), and Voter Registration. While not a fan of a Scarlet Letter, a great big red “IA” embossed over the info should be required. Then we’d be able to see just how well these folks drive, while safeguarding our wallets and electorate from their meddling. And please don’t give me that “second class citizen” crap-they shouldn’t be citizens at all!

Calls for a man with a rifle flooded Area D, with units from 4, 14, MSP, and Brookline Police searching for the camo clad suspect. Imagine the surprise when it turned out to be BU ROTC on a training exercise. It seems the proper notifications were made, but the word never got down to the boots on the ground, due to an oversight. A strange tidbit came to light during the aftermath, when one of the Boston Cops spoke to the Colonel in charge of the ROTC. They were forced to get permits after an anonymous complainant claimed to be scared and intimidated by the college troopers in their camouflage uniforms. Probably the same dolt that made the call. Anonymous complaints should not even be entertained.

I have been known to belt out a tune or two at karaoke but find it embarrassing to sing at church. It is possible that alcohol may be a factor…

Funny how a bum isn’t responsible enough to hold down a job, yet manages to beg money from a median strip or a convenience store for several hours. Early morning through late afternoon, in almost any weather, they’re more reliable than the US Postal Service.

The editor of is in a bit of hot water after sending out a few tweets with a racist spin. Jamilah Lemieux blasted Raffi Williams after he questioned her commitment to diversity. Lemieux tweeted this rant after Williams offered to get her more info about a new magazine aimed at Conservative minorities: “Oh great, here comes a White dude telling me how to do this Black thing, Pass.” Trouble is, Raffi Williams is black. Proving once again, that diversity and tolerance are great as long as you have the same opinion as the Liberals.

Not to be outdone by Ebony, Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert sent out his own racist Tweet slamming Asians, after his show attempted to lampoon Washington Redskin’s owner Dan Snyder, who’s refusing to change the team’s name. Calls have been made to cancel the show or fire Colbert. If that does happen, where will the Occu-punks and Libtards get their news?

Does anyone else find it ironic that the latest Boston Gun Buy Back is sponsored by “Target”?

Every time there’s a promotional exam, several people go out injured. After picking up my copy of the Rules and Regs from the Academy, I may go out with a hernia. It’s like carrying a #$%&*#@ suitcase. I can’t believe any of us are still employed with that many regulations governing our conduct.

I went to a party held at a golf course. Due to inclement weather I let my wife off out front. She got mad because the sign said “bag drop”.

Speaking of golf-it’s one of only two sports you can play for life. The other is hockey. No matter how old you are or how much your skills have waned, you can still find enjoyment just from being out there.

President Obama met with Pope Francis, hoping some of the Pope’s luster will rub off on him. Considering the Obama administration’s attacks on Christianity, I wonder what they discussed? Conflicting reports on the topic of the meetings were provided by Obama, and the Vatican. Noting the President’s track record, I’m going to lean toward the version supplied by the Holy See. Disagree? I only have this to say: “If you like your health care plan you can keep your health care plan-period.”

Meanwhile, across the pond-it’s been reported that UK hospitals have been incinerating medical waste for heat. Sounds so green, doesn’t it, until you learn that included in what’s called “medical waste” were over 15,000 aborted and miscarried fetuses. Hmm I recall some other group in Europe burning bodies in ovens…just sayin’

A Louisiana Sex Shop has been blasted for accepting EBT to purchase their (ahem) products. Apparently these leeches think edible undies are one of the four food groups.

Concerning the above item; how convenient is it that Liberals like Deval Patrick dismiss them as mere “anecdotes” even though they are true stories. BUT if you attempt to limit EBT abuse, the Loony-left concoct all kinds of imaginary scenarios and declare them to be true. I guess that’s the best part of being a liberal, facts don’t apply to you.

I saw a sign at a park that reminded people to pick up after their pets. It featured silhouettes of a dog and a cat. Who the hell walks a cat?? Really!

With the Retro in my wife and I decided to treat ourselves to a night on the town. After dinner at the Capitol Grille, we wandered down Boylston St. With an Anime Convention at the Hynes, we were treated to a myriad of cartoon characters along the route. How ironic was it, that as I enjoyed a cigar in the great outdoors, a kid painted blue and silver, sporting a pair of horns and a fur vest actually made a face at ME for smoking.

Looks like the village idiot, also known as Vice President Joe Biden let the cat out of the bag when he referred to Illegal Aliens as already citizens. Just because you let them vote Joe, and give them benefits Joe, and pander to them Joe, and ignore their criminal activities, Joe, doesn’t make them citizens. A citizen would have been arrested for perpetrating any of these frauds, Joe. Stupid is as stupid does…

Another contender for Dumbocratic Champion is Nevada Senator, and Majority Leader Harry Reid. After Republicans reported numerous cases of the shortcomings of Obamacare, Reid claimed they were all lies. He then denied his statements, even after videos were produced showing them. Either Reid thinks the American people are that dumb, or Harry is suffering from dementia. Neither of these choices is appealing to the USA.

Not to be outdone by these two, Rep Sheila Jackson Lee, who has referred to herself as a freed slave, has made her own bizarre statements. Including: Klansmen are now running the TEA Party; There are still two Viet Nams -one North and one South- living together in peace (author’s note: I was under the impression that ALL Liberals knew the outcome of that war); US Astronauts planted a flag on Mars, and her latest gem-the US Constitution is 400 years old. Critics have said the Congresswoman’s braids are too tight, I may have to agree…yet all you get from the mainstream media is: Chris Christie, the Koch brothers, Ted Cruz, not one of whom has made statements even vaguely as outrageous as these. And let’s not forget dear leader’s: “57 states”; speaking “Austrian”; bowling like a “special Olympian” Gone are the days of Woodward and Bernstein-they’ve been replaced by sycophantic lapdogs who toe the party line at the cost of journalistic integrity. I’m reminded of the old line about the Soviet press. In the old USSR there were two newspapers, called Pravda (truth) and Izvestia (news). The joke went in Pravda there is no Izvestia, and in Izvestia, there is no Pravda. That’s where we’re heading here.

And to finish (with another seamless segue) the Obama Administration, through the FCC is proposing implementation of “CIN” or Critical Information Needs, wherein a Government monitor would decide what stories are reported on during newscasts, in papers ,and magazines, effectively censoring opposition! This is no pie in the sky conspiracy theory, this is legit! A pilot program is underway in South Carolina. Last time I checked, freedom of the press is guaranteed under the First Amendment-you know the one Liberals always trot out to bolster their position when they want to rip down a crèche. But Obama is the best president ever, Joe Biden should be leading Mensa, the IRS is not out of control, and Obamacare will keep us all healthy-now please stop pointing that gun at me!

Stay safe, thanks for reading, and don’t forget the Commissioner’s Cup! I don’t know who’ll win this year, but I know who won’t-hint: 4 time champs who forgot humility…

On a more serious note, a Back Bay fire claimed the lives of two Boston Firemen-and although I like to joke around, we both serve in dangerous professions. I don’t usually put words in others’ mouths but I don’t think I’m out of line by saying the thoughts and prayers of the staff of the PAX, and the entire Police Department are with the friends of families of these two “Bravest”. Rest in Peace Lt Walsh and Firefighter Kennedy, you truly are heroes, in every sense of that word.

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