Follow by Email

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Everyone Gets a Trophy

Everyone Gets a Trophy

        Pro Golfer Bubba Watson caused a bit of a stir, when he celebrated his Master’s Win at the local Waffle House. I can’t see why everyone was so surprised; where else would a guy named Bubba party?
I know an Officer who’s so bipolar, he does Good Cop/Bad Cop by himself.
Twitter is like the bathroom wall of the Internet-that can’t be painted over (thx Mike!)
Lingerie is French for “you’ll never see me after marriage”
Some notes on the Boston Marathon:
Security was able to search bags before people entered the “hot zone”, so why couldn’t they search the backpacks of the Military “Ruck” runners?
Most spectators couldn’t thank Police enough for their service along the route. I wonder if they changed that to “something else you” after the papers published the co$t… But it was appreciated nonetheless.
Many groups reward their runners with a get together when the race is done. Where’s the BPD after-party?
To date, not one Police Officer assigned to the finish line during last year’s bombing has been officially recognized by the Department. The Boston Fire Department will be honoring nine Firefighters at their annual Awards Ceremony after reviewing hundreds of photos, and hours of footage, to determine meritorious actions at the site of the bombings. We got a pin.
The addition of food carts to feed the Officers assigned to the Marathon was a great idea. Hopefully there are plans for the BPPA to get one. If they do, I know a guy who’d be interested in the chef’s position…
I refuse to believe the plate on the water truck is: MIA
Forget the cycling Murrays, the end of the marathon should be marked by the Milwaukee Brewers’ “Sausage Racers”.
From the Command Staff to the Patrolmen, everyone did a great job! It’s now safe to say, we’re 117-1!
Has anyone else noticed the radio now sounds like a bad Dunkin Donuts drive through?
The Mayor of Somerville, Joe Curatone has decreed that Illegal Aliens will no longer be arrested-just for being illegal. They can be detained if they have a criminal warrant, or are arrested for another offense. Oh, and don’t forget, two years ago, Alcalde Jose decreed you can’t refer to them as “illegal aliens”. Muchos Gracias! American citizens will continue to be locked up in Somerville as usual.
Uber Liberal Alec Baldwin was arrested in NYC near his home after running afoul of the NYPD. The incident started with Baldwin once again complaining to Police about the paparazzi camped out near his downtown digs. He was taken into custody after failing to produce an ID for a civil violation of bicycling against traffic. How ironic: a flaming liberal arrested for no ID!! It was also noted Alec threw out the old “Do you know who I am?” to arresting Officers. In a TWEET following his pinch, Baldwin opined:  "New York City is a mismanaged carnival of stupidity that is desperate for revenue and anxious to criminalize behavior once thought benign."   Now I ask you, gentle reader, is this simply a case of Baldwin vs. de Blasio for title of Biggest Libtard in New York? Hey, Alec, these are YOUR people calling the shots- how ya like Dem (Big) Apples? File Under: Between a 30 Rock and a hard place…
Just a thought on Global Warming-while wearing my coat with liner, and knit hat on a detail in MAY! Why can’t the Greenhouse gasses escape through the hole in the ozone layer?
Hopefully Marty Walsh will be re-elected as mayor of Boston; it’ll take at least two terms to remove the prior Mayor’s name from everything.
LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling made some pretty nasty racially charged remarks. The fallout resulted in the NBA and its Board of Governors banning him for life, fining him $2.5 million, and forcing Sterling to sell the team. Sterling has responded with a lawsuit for $2 billion seeking damages. As despicable as his comments were, this issue is looking more about green as black or white.
MERS (Middle East Respiratory Syndrome) has been reported in the United States. The disease is believed to have originated in Saudi Arabia, and is possibly contracted from camels. Hmm MERS from camels, AIDS from monkeys, can you crazy Third World perverts STOP making out with animals?
The Liberals and Greens claim regulation and taxes are needed to save the planet “for the children” BUT these same Libs see nothing wrong with dumping the astronomical cost of Obamacare on these same kids. At least they can look out the window at work and see some nice trees.
When we were young, our parents warned us to stay away from strangers in cars, now drunk kids don’t think twice about getting in a sketchy livery vehicle. #strangerdanger!
If Deval Patrick runs for President, Justina Pelletier should be his Willie Horton.
I passed by Franklin Park Golf Course and couldn’t help but notice the large flocks of Canada geese. I thought to myself, with the close proximity of the zoo, how funny would it be if a bunch of them landed in the lion’s cage…
Boston prides itself on being a walking city and I think that’s great. Just one thing, though, could someone teach these idiots how to cross a street? I feel like taking a bat and smashing the pedestrian lights at every intersection-and I bet NO ONE would notice, because the %^$&#( pedestrians pay no mind to them anyway! How about making the fine for jay-walking comparable to the fine for failing to stop for a pedestrian, then aggressively enforcing that! I’d bet traffic would flow a lot smoother. Oh and whoever came up with the new traffic light patterns should be charged accordingly when someone gets hit. They are ridiculous-people should not be getting a walk signal when cars are turning through an intersection.
I did a detail near Agganis Arena, which was hosting the “New England Robotics Championship”. It was like watching an eight hour marathon of “The Big Bang Theory” minus the hot neighbor.
I believe I speak for everyone when I say the song “Happy” should meet the same fate as “Achy-Breaky Heart” and NEVER be played on the radio again…
An audit of the Boston Public School’s lunch program has shown it is losing millions and is among the worst places to work. Who would have guessed mystery meat was so expensive?
Another Muslim immigrant to our shores has been implicated in the Marathon Bombing. At least this one had a job.
A New Hampshire father was arrested at a Gilford School Board Meeting, after voicing his objection to a book on the reading list which contained graphic sex passages. William Baer protested that a permission slip was not issued this year-as has been the case in the past. He was led from the meeting in handcuffs for violating the “two minute” rule for speakers. Funny, offensive language was removed from literary classic “Huckleberry Finn”, so why not this book?
A US Marine-Sgt Andrew Tamooressi, who suffers from PTSD, is languishing in a Mexican prison on a weapons charge, after he took a wrong turn at the border. Although there may be more to this, the Administration appears to be dragging their feet in an effort to bring this vet home. Here’s an idea-let’s propose an exchange. We’ll send back all Mexicans here illegally in exchange for our soldier…
Massachusetts Legislators are proposing more new gun laws. As usual, these laws will only affect LEGAL gun owners. There are no provisions regarding criminals or the mentally ill. These are the same clowns that claim Climate Change is settled science, but deny the FACT that more guns = less crime. Here’s a unique idea, enforce the laws on the books, before you further restrict my CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!
Dan Marino, Hall of Fame QB for the Miami Dolphins, is suing the NFL over its failure to address injuries-specifically concussions. That would explain his wooden performance in Ace Ventura-Pet Detective. Laces OUT Dan!
Police in Kentucky have seized 3 million dollars worth of stolen shoes. The NIKE footwear went missing in 2009 while being shipped from Tennessee to Texas. How do you fit $3 million dollars worth of shoes in a double wide? Those must be some stylish hillbillies!
Several national chains have asked patrons not to carry firearms onto their premises. Sonic, Chili’s, Starbucks, Chipotle, Wendy’s, and Applebee’s are among those participating in this policy. Just a thought-are they asking patrons not to exercise any of their other Constitutional Rights in their businesses-or just this one? By the way, if I or anyone else chooses to ignore this “request” what’s the worst they can do, ask you to leave?
After an avalanche on Mt Everest killed several of their fellows, Nepalese Sherpa guides have stated they won’t assist climbers during this season. They will now be known as Shirkers. More news from the world’s tallest peak: Embarking from the Tibetan (China) side of Everest (where there are no age restrictions on climbers) an impoverished 13 y.o. Indian girl scaled Mt Everest. Coming from the lowest caste in India (referred to as the “untouchables” because of their abject poverty) Malavath Poorna was sponsored by the Andhra Pradesh Social Welfare Society. A radio news report referred to her as “Slumdog Mountaineer” Jeez, if I wrote that we’d been in the news again…just sayin’
Another scandal now dogs the Obama Administration. Officials at several Veterans’ Administration Hospitals have been implicated in a growing controversy that may foreshadow patient treatment under Obamacare. It seems some vets are being placed on lists, and denied prompt appointments for sometimes life threatening conditions. A number of VA Officials have been canned, including head of the VA, former General, Eric Shinseki. A Bi-Partisan group of Senators, led by Republican John McCain, and Independent/Socialist Bernie Sanders is drafting legislation that would allow veterans to seek care at other medical venues, with full reimbursement if they cannot get an appointment at their local VA Hospitals. It’s either that or claim they’re Illegal Aliens, so they’ll get their benefits faster. #deathpanel
The only American POW in Afghanistan, Sgt Bowe Bergdahl has been returned to the US Army in exchange for 5 hardened Taliban Commanders from Gitmo. Controversy surrounds the swap (but what else is new for Obama) after several of his former comrades claim Bergdahl is a deserter. More to follow as this unfolds. One can only hope the swapped terrorists got a (GPS) bug up their @$$ ala “Gigi Portella” and a drone will put a rocket in their pocket before they can kill more Americans. If it’s true Bergdahl is a deserter, he should be welcomed home with a 21 gun salute-pointed at his chest.
Pop tart Justin Bieber is doing the public mea culpa after a video surfaced of him telling racist jokes. Hmm what are they going to make him sell-he actually used the “N” word?? I didn’t even know he was dating V Stiviano! File under: KKKanada…
Elliot Rodger, a child of liberal privilege went on a murderous rampage that left 6 dead and 13 wounded, after he couldn’t get a date. During his spree, Rodger stabbed, ran over with his car, and shot his victims, because he felt rejected by women, and couldn’t lose his virginity. Although he employed different means to dispatch his victims, the do-gooders immediately attacked guns. There was no talk of banning knives and BMW’s. Rodger proves the point that a nut who’s bent on murder, will employ any means necessary to satisfy his urges.
I recently fielded a call for a naked woman in Copley Sq Park. It’s not what you think, supermodels rarely pass out nude on my beat. The drunken homeless woman was stripped from the waist down, and sprawled out in the grass. The sight has made me swear off sex for at least a month-it will be easy, I’m married…
I have a small pile of sand in my yard, and my dog will roll around in it, then climb into my bed, spreading it onto the sheets. Pair that with the hot flashes I get from my medication, and it’s like sleeping on the beach.

Enjoy your summer, have fun on vacation, hydrate on your details, good luck on the Sergeant’s test, wear sunscreen, and try not to get ordered too much. Thanks for reading!

No comments:

Post a Comment