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Sunday, September 22, 2013

I Know How Many Licks it Takes, to get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop


            In a typical case of Massachusetts’ Double Standard, a retired Ashland Police Sergeant has been ordered to pay back some of the $46k he earned while WORKING Paid Details in addition to collecting his pension, earned for 41 years of dedicated service to his community. Meanwhile, the Hickeys of Medford defrauded the State’s Welfare system for over $160k, and will face no jail time. They have been ordered to repay the stolen money within the five year period of their probation. Anyone willing to bet who ends up paying back more of their cash windfalls? At least the cop worked for it. Just a thought-if you owed the Government 10% of that $160k, they would get EVERY penny of it from YOU!

            Speaking of Welfare “Anecdotes” as Deval refers to the cheaters, Vivencia Bellegarde, a Haitian immigrant was arrested for OUI, after her Cadillac knocked a Globe delivery truck off 93N, and onto the Leverett Connector, 40 feet below. She was found to be in possession not, one, not two, but THREE EBT Cards. To be fair, one of them was hers. During her arrest, she made racist comments to the Trooper, and referred to him as “stupid” for paying for food, when she gets it for free. Oh and just for good measure, she threatened his life, and vowed to put voo-doo curses on him. Once again, anyone want to wager on how much she’ll repay to the state coffers? As much as I hate to agree with Liberals, she’s right, we are suckers for paying- for the likes of HER!

            A rodeo clown in Missouri has been hit with a lifetime ban, and the NAACP is calling for a full investigation from the Department of Justice, after he donned an Obama mask, and entered the corral during a bull riding event. Funny, I don’t recall any of this hullabaloo when George Bush was lampooned in a similar manner.

            After Egyptian President Morsi (a proud member of the Muslim Brotherhood) failed to include opposition members in his government the military stepped in and removed him from office, placing him under house arrest. His supporters including many groups linked to radical Islam have been rioting, clashing with the military, police and attacking Christians on a daily basis. The Obama administration has pulled aid to Egypt, citing the removal of the duly elected leader. What is the dear leader thinking? Considering the Egyptian military is wiping out folks we consider terrorists, we should be sending them as many bullets as they need. Talk about a hypocrite!

            I broke my foot in June (on duty-more later) and during one of my visits to HQ to see the doctor, I noticed this sign in the office: “Worldwide studies have determined that worklessness significantly increases early death, cardiac disease, cancer, alcohol abuse, divorce, Alzheimer’s disease, and suicide”. I thought to myself, if those studies are correct, how can there so many welfare bums left!

            Creepy Anthony Weiner, erstwhile New York City Mayoral candidate and cyber flasher is once again in hot water after sending more unsolicited naked photos of himself to young females. Posting under the nom de genitalia “Carlos Danger”, his lead in the polls has fallen faster than his lead in the pole. Lampooning him is almost too easy, so I’ll let the best NY Post headline ever sum it all up: “WEINER VOWS TO STICK IT OUT”…

            Hawaii, the “Aloha State” is attempting to say aloha to its Welfare recipients. In a bid to cut down on homelessness, Hawaii has offered a one way ticket off the island to any layabouts willing to surrender paradise. So if you see any bums with a great tan on the Commons you’ll know how they got there. PS: They stole my original idea- it involved a Fung Wah bus!

            Have you ever noticed, that while you’re on vacation, you try to eat well, not drink too much, and walk around a lot for the first few days, then eventually you say screw it and over indulge?

            Many of you are familiar with HUAS (head up @$$ syndrome). With the tech savvy wandering around in a daze texting all day, I’ve coined the phrase “iComa” to describe their inattentiveness.

            I won’t say the game “Candy Crush” is addictive, but I think my wife is getting diabetes from it…

            The Quartering Act of 1765 required the colonies to house British soldiers in barracks provided by the colonies. If the barracks were too small to house all the soldiers, then localities were to accommodate the soldiers in local inns, livery stables, ale houses, victualling houses, and the houses of sellers of wine. Should there still be soldiers without accommodation after all such publick houses were filled, the colonies were then required to take, hire and make fit for the reception of his Majesty's forces, such and so many uninhabited houses, outhouses, barns, or other buildings as shall be necessary.”

This was one of the punitive measures that lead to the American Revolution. Colonists were forced to put up Redcoats on their dime, as well as pay taxes to support the troops. I see a direct correlation to what’s happening today with our government. Instead of redcoats, substitute welfare recipients. We house them in projects (barracks) but when there is no space, we put them up in hotels (inns, ale houses, etc) to the tune of about $1million a week according to the Boston Herald. Now the City of Boston has forced homeowners to register their apartments or face heavy fines, despite that information already on record through the Assessor’s Office. How much of a leap do you think it would be, before the City forces landlords to submit a number of their empty apartments for use by the Department of Public Health or other agency as shelters for homeless families? After all it’s “for the children”. Can someone check on the delivery of our pitchforks and torches?


            Speaking of shelters, Sweden has provided drive-in shelters for sex, in order to provide some privacy and safety for prostitutes. The wooden partitions are situated like a parking spot with a partition. Inside there is a police call box, in case the patron, or pro gets a little too frisky. Talk about a drive-thru!

            Has Senator John McCain gone nuts? The guy who referred to his Vietnamese captors as gooks, now claims Syrian rebels (many linked to Al-Qeada) yelling “Allahu akbar” is akin to Americans yelling “Thank God”. I’ve always considered him one of the good guys, but I’m wondering if dementia is setting in…

            There is nothing like hand washing, and waxing your car.

Paging all Hollywood Liberals, Obama is threatening to bomb Syria, and we haven’t heard from ANY of you…

            Army Major Nidal Hassan was found guilty and sentenced to death for his, ahem, act of workplace violence at Fort Hood, Texas. His appeal is automatic under Military Law, but on procedural grounds. So, looks like the Jihadist will be meeting Allah albeit a little later than he figured. Hassan, who is confined to a wheelchair as a result of being shot by Base Police Sgts Mark Todd and Kimberly Hunley will be dispatched by lethal injection. He awaits his sentence, which must be confirmed by the President (thankfully Obama will be long gone from office by then) at the Military Prison Death Row-Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. GOD is great!

            I now envy the Russians. Their leader, Putin hunts tigers bare-chested. Obama thinks he’s Tiger, and can’t reach home plate in his mom jeans.

            A Florida jury exonerated Neighborhood Watchman George Zimmerman in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. Being out injured, I watched a lot of the trial, and wasn’t surprised by the verdict. I was shocked by all the protests-they reminded me of the riots after the OJ Trial.


            Boston Mayor Tom Menino finds himself in a bit of hot water, after stating bankrupt Detroit should be blown up. Uh, Mr Mayor, I don’t know the last time you ventured to the Motor City, but it looks like someone beat you to it!

            I’m reasonably certain there is no fruit in Froot Loops, but I will continue to eat them in hopes of finding it.

            For those of you who are concerned, in June I had to be recertified to operate a department motor cycle. Although I had not ridden one in several years I was like a kid who was told his favorite toy was being thrown out. I just had to get back in the saddle. After a few brief rides around the Back Bay, I felt confident enough to take the test. Boy, was I wrong! The results? Broken foot and severely bruised ego. Luckily there is no viral “You Tube” video of the incident.

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