I Know How Many Licks it Takes, to get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop

 

            In a typical case of Massachusetts’ Double Standard, a retired Ashland Police Sergeant has been ordered to pay back some of the $46k he earned while WORKING Paid Details in addition to collecting his pension, earned for 41 years of dedicated service to his community. Meanwhile, the Hickeys of Medford defrauded the State’s Welfare system for over $160k, and will face no jail time. They have been ordered to repay the stolen money within the five year period of their probation. Anyone willing to bet who ends up paying back more of their cash windfalls? At least the cop worked for it. Just a thought-if you owed the Government 10% of that $160k, they would get EVERY penny of it from YOU!

            Speaking of Welfare “Anecdotes” as Deval refers to the cheaters, Vivencia Bellegarde, a Haitian immigrant was arrested for OUI, after her Cadillac knocked a Globe delivery truck off 93N, and onto the Leverett Connector, 40 feet below. She was found to be in possession not, one, not two, but THREE EBT Cards. To be fair, one of them was hers. During her arrest, she made racist comments to the Trooper, and referred to him as “stupid” for paying for food, when she gets it for free. Oh and just for good measure, she threatened his life, and vowed to put voo-doo curses on him. Once again, anyone want to wager on how much she’ll repay to the state coffers? As much as I hate to agree with Liberals, she’s right, we are suckers for paying- for the likes of HER!

            A rodeo clown in Missouri has been hit with a lifetime ban, and the NAACP is calling for a full investigation from the Department of Justice, after he donned an Obama mask, and entered the corral during a bull riding event. Funny, I don’t recall any of this hullabaloo when George Bush was lampooned in a similar manner.

            After Egyptian President Morsi (a proud member of the Muslim Brotherhood) failed to include opposition members in his government the military stepped in and removed him from office, placing him under house arrest. His supporters including many groups linked to radical Islam have been rioting, clashing with the military, police and attacking Christians on a daily basis. The Obama administration has pulled aid to Egypt, citing the removal of the duly elected leader. What is the dear leader thinking? Considering the Egyptian military is wiping out folks we consider terrorists, we should be sending them as many bullets as they need. Talk about a hypocrite!

            I broke my foot in June (on duty-more later) and during one of my visits to HQ to see the doctor, I noticed this sign in the office: “Worldwide studies have determined that worklessness significantly increases early death, cardiac disease, cancer, alcohol abuse, divorce, Alzheimer’s disease, and suicide”. I thought to myself, if those studies are correct, how can there so many welfare bums left!

            Creepy Anthony Weiner, erstwhile New York City Mayoral candidate and cyber flasher is once again in hot water after sending more unsolicited naked photos of himself to young females. Posting under the nom de genitalia “Carlos Danger”, his lead in the polls has fallen faster than his lead in the pole. Lampooning him is almost too easy, so I’ll let the best NY Post headline ever sum it all up: “WEINER VOWS TO STICK IT OUT”…

            Hawaii, the “Aloha State” is attempting to say aloha to its Welfare recipients. In a bid to cut down on homelessness, Hawaii has offered a one way ticket off the island to any layabouts willing to surrender paradise. So if you see any bums with a great tan on the Commons you’ll know how they got there. PS: They stole my original idea- it involved a Fung Wah bus!

            Have you ever noticed, that while you’re on vacation, you try to eat well, not drink too much, and walk around a lot for the first few days, then eventually you say screw it and over indulge?

            Many of you are familiar with HUAS (head up @$$ syndrome). With the tech savvy wandering around in a daze texting all day, I’ve coined the phrase “iComa” to describe their inattentiveness.

            I won’t say the game “Candy Crush” is addictive, but I think my wife is getting diabetes from it…

            “The Quartering Act of 1765 required the colonies to house British soldiers in barracks provided by the colonies. If the barracks were too small to house all the soldiers, then localities were to accommodate the soldiers in local inns, livery stables, ale houses, victualling houses, and the houses of sellers of wine. Should there still be soldiers without accommodation after all such publick houses were filled, the colonies were then required to take, hire and make fit for the reception of his Majesty's forces, such and so many uninhabited houses, outhouses, barns, or other buildings as shall be necessary.”

This was one of the punitive measures that lead to the American Revolution. Colonists were forced to put up Redcoats on their dime, as well as pay taxes to support the troops. I see a direct correlation to what’s happening today with our government. Instead of redcoats, substitute welfare recipients. We house them in projects (barracks) but when there is no space, we put them up in hotels (inns, ale houses, etc) to the tune of about $1million a week according to the Boston Herald. Now the City of Boston has forced homeowners to register their apartments or face heavy fines, despite that information already on record through the Assessor’s Office. How much of a leap do you think it would be, before the City forces landlords to submit a number of their empty apartments for use by the Department of Public Health or other agency as shelters for homeless families? After all it’s “for the children”. Can someone check on the delivery of our pitchforks and torches?

 

            Speaking of shelters, Sweden has provided drive-in shelters for sex, in order to provide some privacy and safety for prostitutes. The wooden partitions are situated like a parking spot with a partition. Inside there is a police call box, in case the patron, or pro gets a little too frisky. Talk about a drive-thru!

            Has Senator John McCain gone nuts? The guy who referred to his Vietnamese captors as gooks, now claims Syrian rebels (many linked to Al-Qeada) yelling “Allahu akbar” is akin to Americans yelling “Thank God”. I’ve always considered him one of the good guys, but I’m wondering if dementia is setting in…

            There is nothing like hand washing, and waxing your car.

Paging all Hollywood Liberals, Obama is threatening to bomb Syria, and we haven’t heard from ANY of you…

            Army Major Nidal Hassan was found guilty and sentenced to death for his, ahem, act of workplace violence at Fort Hood, Texas. His appeal is automatic under Military Law, but on procedural grounds. So, looks like the Jihadist will be meeting Allah albeit a little later than he figured. Hassan, who is confined to a wheelchair as a result of being shot by Base Police Sgts Mark Todd and Kimberly Hunley will be dispatched by lethal injection. He awaits his sentence, which must be confirmed by the President (thankfully Obama will be long gone from office by then) at the Military Prison Death Row-Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. GOD is great!

            I now envy the Russians. Their leader, Putin hunts tigers bare-chested. Obama thinks he’s Tiger, and can’t reach home plate in his mom jeans.

            A Florida jury exonerated Neighborhood Watchman George Zimmerman in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. Being out injured, I watched a lot of the trial, and wasn’t surprised by the verdict. I was shocked by all the protests-they reminded me of the riots after the OJ Trial.

 

            Boston Mayor Tom Menino finds himself in a bit of hot water, after stating bankrupt Detroit should be blown up. Uh, Mr Mayor, I don’t know the last time you ventured to the Motor City, but it looks like someone beat you to it!

            I’m reasonably certain there is no fruit in Froot Loops, but I will continue to eat them in hopes of finding it.

            For those of you who are concerned, in June I had to be recertified to operate a department motor cycle. Although I had not ridden one in several years I was like a kid who was told his favorite toy was being thrown out. I just had to get back in the saddle. After a few brief rides around the Back Bay, I felt confident enough to take the test. Boy, was I wrong! The results? Broken foot and severely bruised ego. Luckily there is no viral “You Tube” video of the incident.

Wars are Fought by Generals

Battles are Fought by Warriors

 

                Under Obamacare all Liberals are entitled to FREE rose colored glasses

 

            Chi-Chi Athletic clothing chain LuLu Lemon has recalled a line of their yoga pants after they were found to be see through-BASTARDS!

 

            After a tough winter, I found an easy way to clean up my yard. I spray painted all the dog poop pink, yellow and purple then told the neighborhood kids I was hosting an Easter Egg Hunt…

 

            I saw a sign posted in my Doctor’s Office. It read the office was fragrance free, and asked employees and visitors to refrain from the use of: perfume, cologne, after shave, hair spray, shampoo, scented soap, and deodorant. I asked the nurse how it was to work there-she said; “It stinks…”

 

            After the Boston Marathon bombing, and the susequent revelation it was carried out by Islamic extremists-Attorney General Holder warned Americans that any backlash against Muslims in the US will be dealt with harshly. What would he do if it’s perpetrated by Illegal Aliens or the New Black Panther Party?

 

            A storage unit containing equipment for the upcoming season belonging to Savin Hill Little League was robbed by heartless thugs. If they’re caught may I suggest they be tied to the foul pole and let the kids “swing away”…

 

            I cheated on my ethics exam.

 

            TV pitchmen are touting the “Wax Vac” to remove pesky ear wax without  q-tips, to keep your ears wax free, without pain. They’ll even send you two-one for free! What would happen if you used them both at the same time? The resulting brain vacuum will only provide us with more Democrats…

 

            The State has discovered hundreds of sex offenders registered at homes that also house Child Day Care. Governor Patrick has promised a full investigation. In the end, these pervs will become another of the Gov’s “anecdotes”…

 

            Well the Primary to narrow the field in June is over. To fill John Kerry’s vacant Senate seat, Massachusetts voters will have the pleasure of picking a liberal, gun grabbing, Obama suck up or Ed Markey.

 

            I tried to watch “Boston’s Finest”, I really did, but couldn’t bear it after one of the “characters” started yelling; “2-6-9! 2-6-9!” when he saw a gun in a car. I get the reference (MGL 269-Dangerous weapons) but NEVER in my almost 30 year career have I EVER heard that. You see a gun, you yell “GUN!!” so there’s no confusion…just sayin’ (and tuning out)

 

            The State House has been the scene of furious debate over the budget.In the end, all that will be decided is how much more WE (working class) will have to pay to support the layabouts…Welome Home to Taxachusetts. Thanks Democrats!

Like Gov Patrick says: “Everybody pays more and gets less…” No Deval, People who work pay more and get less, people who don’t work at all still get plenty.

 

            American Airlines and US Airways have merged to form the largest carrier in the US. After bringing American to the brink of bankruptcy, outgoing CEO Tom Horton was rewarded with a $20 Million exit package. Way to encourage failure and mediocrity! Thankfully a Judge has weighed in and put the payout on hold…

 

            Although I can’t explain why I do it, I will deviate from my route rather than stay behind a hearse in traffic-usually only two or three cars from the Funeral will follow me…

 

            I was approached by a Back Bay resident, while stationed at the Marathon Bombing Memorial. She was wondering when it will be removed, with her reasons being it made her sad, and displaced one of the Farmer’s Market stands. Really??

 

            At the rate things are going, don’t be surprised if the Government taxes YOUR pension to provide a pension for the EBT crowd…

 

            I tried to log in to a page on the State’s website to satisfy a work requirement. I couldn’t get on because of pop-ups. Turns out the instructions to turn off the pop up blocker come up when you log in.

 

            A Police Detective in Dedham alerted the Department of Transitional Assistance that two suspects caught during a drug raid were getting benefits despite having over $65K in their apt. The Illegal Aliens were also found in possession of heroin and cocaine. Hmmm, illegal aliens, EBT, drugs, cash, at least they weren’t making bombs… It took State authorities more than a month to look into this, even after the DTA vowed a crackdown on fraud.  There’s no crackdown, it’s more like a crack up, and the joke’s on the taxpaying suckers of Massachusetts. Could someone please check on the delivery date of the pitchforks and torches?

            Suffolk County District Attorney and Boston Mayoral candidate Dan Conley has proposed new Gun Control legislation. The Bill, sposored by Rep Russell Holmes (D) umb-ass of Mattapan would increase penalties for illegal gun violations, make not reporting theft of a firearm a jailable offense, mandate “micro-stamping” and most onerous of all require firearms owners to carry liability insurance. Now I agree anyone who buys/sells guns illegally should be jailed, but liability insurance? Just as soon as they make all these Baby Makers insure their (ahem) “guns”. That’s more problematic and more expensive. And more likely to occur than a legal gun owner shooting someone…

 

            In the wake of the Boston marathon bombing President Obama attended and spoke at a memorial service at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross-Boston. The Boston Police Department was given 65 tickets to the event, and Officers who were interested in going had to submit name, dob, ssn for a background check. On the day of the event, over 500 tickets were released to the general public who lined up outside-no check required. And although everyone was told no parking would be available-Senator Lie-zy Warren didn’t get the memo, treating the cops and secret service on site like valets.To add insult to injury, as the assembled pols left the church, most put on a somber façade. Warren came out waving like she was at a parade. #doyouknowwhoiam?

 

            Speaking of disgusting-it’s a damn shame Veterans may wait up to a year or longer for benefits, but the same Government manages to get Illegal Aliens benefits within weeks of their arrival.

 

            Does anyone else remember when a nanny was actually one of the grandmothers?

 

            I won’t say the Marathon Bombing has changed everything, but I heard the “Cycling Murrays” have been up armored…

 

            When I see a bunch of kids playing Ultimate Frisbee, I cringe, but since I had so much fun with that disc on the beach when I was younger, I ignore it. When I see a bunch of kids playing Quidditch from the Harry Potter books, I can’t believe how silly some people are. Then I smile thinking all that time running around with a broom between their legs may keep them from reproducing.

 

            Obama is in quite a mess after triple scandals have the White House reeling. Benghazi, IRS and AP Wiretapping have many wondering if the Prez and his pals are in over their heads, smart like a fox, or just plain stupid. Here’s my opinion: on the Benghazi matter, Hillary will find some underling to lay the blame on, with the hope it doesn’t taint her possible White House run in 2016. Now we know who answered the phone in that infamous ad-NO ONE, and 4 Americans are dead. What caused it DOES matter, despite what she may think, or raged at Congress. If it is discovered State knew it was Al-Qeada, we’ll be able to keep Bill away from the Interns-her ambitions will be toast. In over their heads. The IRS scandal has a scapegoat-Lois Lerner. She’ll be removed, take a plea, and get a pardon when dear leader leaves. He got what he wanted-no or little opposition to his re-election. The email trail will falter under another “Executive Order” a-la Fast and Furious, and although Congress will steam, this one ends with a whimper. Smart like a fox! The AP Wiretaps may be the end game. Shades of Watergate, sketchy subpeonas, an embattled AG, and pissed off press may add up to Cabinet level resignations. The fallout among the media could be toxic, especially if it lingers through the Mid-Term Elections. Just Plain Stupid!

           

First Hugo Chavez and now toilet paper! Venezuelans find themselves in a tushy situation as the nation suffers through a toilet paper shortage.Rolls can be had for up to four times the price on the “Brown Market”. We all knew Chavez was full of crap but that much? C’mon.

           

A North Carolina woman had her juvenile son arrested for stealing her Pop Tarts. The 13 year old boy was hauled off by Police after being called to the home by the distraught mom, Latasha Renee Love.He also drank her milk, slept in one of her bedrooms, watched her TV and used her shower. The cops should have locked HER up- for wasting their time. You had him-You raise him Ms Love

 

            Dubbed “The Hermit of North Pond”, Christopher Knight was finally captured and could face up to 1000 counts of larceny after spending 27 years in the Maine woods. Knight would break into cabins or steal from campsites to stock his own. He was seen about as often as Bigfoot, but left a trail of broken locks and empty cupboards. Stealing clothes, food, sleeping bags, and propane tanks, Knight talked to only one other person in his quarter century plus in the wilderness. He did not know if his parents were still alive, and his brothers had to introduce themselves when they visited him in jail, but he did know who the Kardashians were. Is there no where on earth to get away from those BITCHES??

 

            I’m glad I wore clean underwear to my debriefing.

 

            In typical Liberal fashion, while remembering the victim’s of the Marathon Bombing, Gov Patrick named each victim but referred to the 2 Law Enforcement casualties (Donahue from the T, and Collier from MIT) as “Officers”. Thanks for your support Gov!

 

            Not to be outdone by our Domesticated Islamic Terrorists, 2 English Muslims from a radical Mosque hacked an English soldier to death in the street. The 2 had been investigated by authorities, were on the dole, hmmm sound familiar? Days later a French Muslim slashed a soldier on patrol in Paris. Anyone else see a pattern? No other Religion is out to kill the competition. Convert or die seems to be their motto, and not one word of outcry from the rest of them. Their (Muslims) silence speaks volumes, and condones these atrocities with their inaction.

 

            I find it strange that some nitwit “rapper” Cameron D’Ambrosio, a high-schooler,from Methuen was held in jail after making a bomb threat on Facebook, YET Robel Phillipos got bailed after assisting his pal Tsarnaev. What the hell?

 

            I’m glad we all made it through the Boston Marathon Bombing fairly well, to the Officers injured, a speedy recovery. If you need help-GET IT! We’re no good to each other if our heads aren’t in the game-stay safe,enjoy your family, enjoy your summer…

 

 

           

 

           

 

You Can't Microwave Lasagne!

     Amazing how many handicapped guys work on construction sites.

     Sean Coombs a/k/a Pdiddy has admitted to being a bed wetter as a child. He'll now be known as P did he?

     I went outside on March 1^st after hearing Obama speak on the Sequester, but the sky was NOT falling.

     How come “light beer” is lo calorie, but light cream is not?

    If North Korea nukes California will Mexico declare war?

     Narcolepsy-a sleeping killer...

     A 13 y.o. Illinois student was threatened with suspension if he did not remove his Marines t-shirt. The T sported a pair of crossed rifles. The child was forced to turn it inside out or face disciplinary proceedings. Only a flaming liberal would see the harm in a picture of a gun. Hopefully the shirt wasn't loaded, and the instructor has recovered from her fright. Here's the backpedaling School Administration's response from their Facebook page:

We very much support the armed forces and were disheartened to learn of this matter through the media. The administration and school handbook agree that this shirt is not a violation of the dress code. We also take school safety very earnestly and it needs to be recognized that is a topic that we also take very seriously and support our students and staff in providing a safe environment to learn, teach and work in on a daily basis. We thank everyone for their continued support of our school and our school district.

      Not too many things rile me more than out of state registered cars sporting “Warren for Massachusetts” bumper stickers. You like her that much-let her be YOUR senator. #carpetbagger!

     When Obama said “I'm not a dictator”, all I could think of was Nixon claiming “I'm not a crook!” And we all know how THAT turned out...

     Forget “50 Shades”. Real sadism is your girl asking you to go shopping with her. Real masochism is saying yes...TAKE THAT Christian Grey!

     9 year old Brockton based rapper Lil Poopie is being investigated by DYS after his hip hop video went viral-the vid features the precocious potty mouthed prodigy slapping a gal on her ample backside, while extolling the virtues of “coke” (the sugary soft drink). Lil Poopie- how appropriate since rap music is crap anyway...

     Yoga pants are a privilege, not a right!

     21 Quincy cops were placed on suspension after their firearm licenses were found to be expired. Quincy requires a valid LTC in order to be armed at work. State, City and Police officials are working together to see this doesn't occur again. Funny, the Patrick Administration managed to find the cash to send out Voter Registration info to almost 500,000 Welfare recipients, but honest, hard working citizens (who pay for these bums) can't get a simple postcard their LTC or Driver's License for that matter is about to expire-go figure!

     Euro furniture chain IKEA is pulling their brand of Swedish meatballs from the shelves after they were possibly tainted with horse meat. Guess they had to do something with the leftovers after using the leather...

     Is it just me or do all Mumford & Sons' songs sound the same?

     Saw a guy walking in shorts on a cold snowy day. Couldn't figure out if he was tough or out of clean clothes.

     If you see baked goods labeled Vegan, you can be sure they'll be tasteless.

      The Boston Phoenix has closed its doors. After trashing the PAX didn't help, and revenues for call girl ads dwindled, they have gone out of business. We may have lost advertising revenue, but never had to stoop to offering our readers phone sex-unless you count hearing someone swear in the background when you phone over to the Union Hall. Long Live the PAX!!!

     The Death Penalty was referred to as “ Murder by the State” on a radio program I heard. The caller debated its effectiveness as a deterrent. I disagree, Prisoners subject to the Death Penalty have a 0% recidivism rate...

     Like millions of other Catholics worldwide, I was glued to the TV as a new Pope was announced. Pope Francis I was introduced amid much pomp and fanfare. One thing I noticed-members of the Swiss Guard, and Papal Security carried loaded weapons, complete with magazines locked in place, unlike Obama's Inaugural Parade where US Military personnel marched with empty rifles. File under: In God We Trust.

     I went to a Jamaican Restaurant and ordered the Jerk Chicken, but was upset when it was only mildly annoying.

      I'm totally convinced there is no parallel parking in the Third World.

     When I'm in traffic and see someone in a nearby car singing, I switch radio stations to try to find the song.

     A veteran Ohio Poll Worker; Melowese Richardson admitted voting twice (for Obama-shocker!) and faces charges she did it in 2008 and 2011. An 8 count indictment was handed down by Federal Authorities, after Richardson was worried her vote wouldn't count, but claimed “no intent on my part to commit voter fraud”. Hmmm I'd say a Poll Worker who doesn't recognize voting twice and voting under other peoples' names is voter fraud is incompetent-the stupid kind not the alleged racist code word kind. If convicted she could face up to 12 years in prison...think she'll serve a day? Cue the crickets...

     Why do back up goalies in the NHL sit on the bench with their gloves on but not their mask?

     Saying the stogies offered for sale in South End bodegas are cigars is like claiming the burgers at fast food joints are steak!

     I think those signs at the bus stop that show endangered species with tag lines like “ I am not a rug” should be in some other language. I don't know anyone who takes a prescription of rhino horn for their ailments.

     I hate parking next to that A$$#*!@ taking up two spaces in a crowded lot. Inevitably he's ALWAYS gone when you come out and YOU look like the A$$#*!@!!!

     ICE released a few thousand illegal alien criminals over budget issues related to the Sequestor, possibly endangering citizens. The White House denied any knowledge of the matter, claiming the decision was made by “career bureaucrats” at ICE. Really? When some other career Government employees did something the White House couldn't claim credit fast enough-paging Seal Team 6!

     European countries are running out of money, and restructuring debt, pensions, etc at an alarming rate. They simply cannot afford their entitlement programs and run a country. Greece, Spain, Portugal are for all intents and purposes broke and Cyprus proposed seizing assets from the savings accounts of its citizens. That being said, why does OUR Government continue to roll down this road, even though they know the bridge is out. I'll say this-if Uncle Sam tries to put his hands in our savings accounts you will see the working class riot.

     Worcester Rep Fresolo is in hot water after e-mailing pictures of his junk to a female staffer. What a Weiner!

     Do you ever wonder what kind of deal people got when you see them driving a car that's a horrible color?

     St Paddy's Day has continued its dominance over New Year's Eve as amateur hour. Who in their right mind would drink green beer at 8 in the morning?

      Don't forget the Commissioner's Cup! Come cheer on your district, grab a t-shirt, and find out who'll have bragging rights! Also please support Cops for Kids with Cancer Trivia Night on April 11 at Florian Hall. Can D-4 pull off the “Three-peat”?And for more of MY nonsense (hold for shameless self promoting plug) check out my blog: mrscribbles44.blogspot.com. Uncensored, unedited and all my own opinions!

If Ignorance is Bliss, Then Stupidity is Nirvana

In my relationship with my phone, I'm the “smart” one.

I'm proud of the fact that I cannot recognize ANY of the “Real Housewives”

Why is it, when you go to the Doctor's they always say watch how much you eat, watch how much you drink. You're never told to drink more beer and have more sex...

Washington D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray has made a generous offer to the Washington Redskins. His honor has promised funds for a new stadium, on the condition the team change it's name from the “offensive” slur on Native Americans...may I suggest Bullets, Snipers, or Crooks to reflect the neighborhood??

Speaking of football, Baltimore linebacker Ray Lewis went out on top, after the Ravens won the Super Bowl. The hype surrounding Lewis' retirement rivaled the big game itself. At every stop, there was the obligatory shot of Lewis crying. After football Lewis could become the first male spokes-model for mascara-his eyeblack never ran, no matter how severe the waterworks. The only guy who cried more than Ray this past year was Speaker of the House Boehner!

President Obama is urging changes in football to reduce injuries. He must be the only guy who enjoyed the Pro Bowl! If he institutes all the restrictions by 2016 the big game will be known as the “Safer Bowl”.

In the next election, I won't vote with my head or my wallet, I'll be voting with my (30 round) magazine.

A guy I know went on break with an electric cigarette. He came back two days later when the battery wore out...

Rapper Rick Ross was shot and as a result of his injuries crashed his car-I didn't even know he had turned his life around!

The “Go Daddy-Kiss” commercial during the Super Bowl made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

During the Physical Aptitude Testing, prior to becoming a Police Officer, applicants are required to hold a revolver at arms length and pull the trigger several times then repeat with the other hand. For a Fire Fighter, the PAT is similar, except you use a TV Remote...

At the rate we are being disarmed, soon we'll all be eating steak with plastic sporks!

When you rob Peter to pay Paul, eventually Paul will tire of being a victim.

A hidden danger to electric cars is also one of their selling points. It seems the hybrids are too quiet when running on battery power, and several pedestrians have had close calls with the near silent autos. Although considering the idiocy of some pedestrians with their texting and iPhone comas, this may just be Darwinism.

Is the money lost on parking meters during recent snow emergencies offset by tags and tows? Speaking of the aforementioned Snow Emergencies, with no cars on the road, parked or moving, WHY didn't they plow curb to curb? Oh and Gov Patrick, I went out for a joy ride 2 hours AFTER you overstepped your authority and ordered private citizens off the roads.

Boston University Professor Pedro Laserte, who teaches “Romance Languages” was sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to hitting a female acquaintance with brass knuckles...and I thought French was the International Language of Love!

Well it's Lent, and I'm trying not to eat meat on Friday's. Considering some of the rotten things I've done, if I end up in Hell, it most likely won't be the result of pepperoni pizza.

Doctors, athletes, politicians, etc are always downing fast food, and sugary drinks, BUT that doesn't stop them from having MacDonald's and Coca-Cola from sponsoring sporting events, and the Olympics.

Funny, we pay pro athletes millions, and don't care if they're covered with tattoos, no matter how tasteless. They provide nothing but entertainment and the occasional role model. Meanwhile, candidates for Law Enforcement and the Military are not accepted or censored for having some ink, get paid shit, and provide the blanket of security we all prosper under-go figure!

I don't use my cell phone to report driving jerks, because sometimes it's ME!

When I look at the sheets of salt laid down during snowstorms, I often wonder if Car Washes and Body Shops pay for it...

I can't help but chuckle to myself when I hear the “all-out” broadcast to transport people in need of shelter during inclement or extremely cold weather, YET people complain if they drive by a detail and see a cop warming up.

Whenever I hear that song “Moves Like Jagger” I picture someone dancing around with a cane or a walker. Really, Sir Mick is almost 70!

Lately it seems we don't have Law & Order, we have Law, or Order.

President Obama is using the tried and true Democratic tactic of scaring the public with dire forecasts of anarchy, and threats of cuts to local aid to pressure House Republicans to raise taxes in the face of sequestration. The across the board spending cuts will kick in March 1^st, if a deal is not struck. Dear leader wants taxes raised, and cuts to military and defense spending but the House is defying him, claiming other cuts are available, and refusing to pile on the middle class any further after about 77% of working Americans' taxes were raised to avoid the Fiscal Cliff. Obama AGREED to the original deal, but now seems poised to heap the blame on the Republicans. If they cave-it's all over! Before the Government starts cutting jobs, maybe they should start cutting fraud and waste. How many Obama voters will get the axe, or a pay cut (at least 47% WON'T) ? And who will get the blame in the complicit media? The Republicans, the Tea Party, and Conservatives!

Need more proof the media is biased? Republican whiz kid Marco Rubio of Florida was pilloried for grabbing a drink of water before making a speech. He was even satirized on Saturday Night Live...BUT... Senator Menendez of New Jersey has been implicated in a scandal involving questionable donations, sketchy junkets, and sex with underage prostitutes in the Dominican Republic, and you'll have to look hard to find it outside the Right Wing outlets. The difference between the two? With an “R” after your name, drinking water gets you national attention, and ridicule, but allegedly banging underage girls on vacation and taking money and trips from an indicted donor garners barely a ripple with a “D” following...

You Can't Defeat Santa Claus

You'll NEVER Defeat Santa Claus

     I overheard two young women talking on the elevator at Boston Municipal Court. They were discussing a male friend of theirs, who was being sued for child support. One says “Can you believe the nerve of that B****? Trying to get CHILD SUPPORT?!?” Gal #2 responds with this gem: “ Oughtta make that B**** take a DNA test and be sure she's the momma!” #1 replied “Ya no $#!+” I almost choked to death on my laughter.

     With the NHL on strike, what's the Lottery going to do with all those Bruins scratch tickets?

      The Mayan Calendar claims the world will end on December 21, 2012. The Doomsday preppers, and pessimists are planning for the end of days. I was doubtful until I saw this sign of the apocalypse...Cheetah's a NYC strip joint has opened a Charlie Sheen Room...Looks like I better get some more ammo...

      No matter how tough they try to make it look, it's still a Mini Cooper...

     Despite Liberals' best intentions, Americans still celebrate strength. If we didn't, we'd be rooting for the New England Cowards or the New York Runts.

     Headline from a Florida Newspaper: “Ocean Tears Away Sand in Ft Lauderdale” Before you put in a call to Al Gore, look up erosion.

     A listed side effect for an asthma medication is “shortness of breath”

     I was driving in to work after a detail, and heard an Amber Alert over my car radio, listing all pertinent info. A moment later, my walkie-talkie broadcast an all-out, with most of the same information, then a second all-out with the plate...

     How to tell you work too much: I passed a cop I've known for years in traffic. We were both in civvies. It took us a light cycle to recognize each other.

     A Texas DA sought a 45 year sentence for a mother who super-glued her kid's hands to a wall then delivered a vicious beating on the defenseless child. The judge would not here of such a thing-he sentenced her to 99 years...God Bless Texas!

     I know the voice says calls will be answered in the order they were received, but do we really know that?

     Convicted child killer Charles Janes has found religion in prison (oddly no separation of Church and State there) and has become a Wiccan. Along with his faith he wants to change his name, and has filed a lawsuit in order to make it happen. You may remember Janes for the murder of young Jeffrey Curley. Janes and his accomplice sexually abused, murdered, and dumped his body to hide their heinous crime, which was so chilling it spurred a Death Penalty debate in the State. I think he should be allowed to change his name-to DECEASED.

     Writing “Wash Me” on a dirty car was probably funny the first or second time it was EVER done.

     After answering the hundredth angry motorist at a street closing for a road race, I think the guy who issues the permits should have to set up a booth where we could send these inconvenienced drivers/residents. Then HE could get the grief, because I for one am sick of the complaints.

     I saw a woman carrying a puppy. She put it down in the park to do his business, which she dutifully cleaned. Then she picked the pup back up and carried him back inside. All the while I wondered what she needed the leash for???

     A new trend that I disapprove of is the Halloween Candy Fairy . If you're out of the loop, this one involves parents sorting the kids' Halloween haul, and claiming the Candy Fairy took the sweets to give to kids who didn't Trick or Treat...just like the Government does with our money...

     The venerable and much maligned Hostess Twinkie has disappeared. Hostess closed its doors after failing to settle a strike. Talk about a missed opportunity, with pot being legalized all over the country, the sides could have negotiated a profit sharing bonus plan, and they'd all be rich. File under: “Got any munchies, Dude?”

     Chicago had its 500^th Homicide recently. It's also home to some of the strictest Gun Control policies in the U.S.! Private citizens are NOT allowed to carry weapons outside the home, despite US Supreme Court rulings that found otherwise. The situation proves the old adage “When guns are outlawed only outlaws will have guns”. Chicago's known as the “Windy City”, because chances are you could get blown away.It also proves gun control cannot and will not work until Criminals are disarmed. Another thing which bothers me about this; after the Supremes found for the gun owners in Chi-town, the city refused to issue gun licenses, and rewrote the laws to keep law abiding citizens unarmed and at the mercy of the savages who have for all intents and purposes taken over some neighborhoods, forcing the parties back to Court. BUT I'd be willing to bet if the Courts found to the contrary, Chicago pols would be confiscating legal guns round the clock with the caveat that they'll be held until the appeals process ended. H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E-S!!!

     There is no such thing as “No Iron” shirts or pants!

     NFL Red Zone is A-D-D TV. I'd like to suggest NFL Hot Zone, where they showed only the cheerleaders from every game...just sayin'!

     New Jersey Gov. Chris Christy has been called by some as “too fat” to be President. Funny how we never elect anyone “too smart”.

     When did soap and shampoo stop smelling like ,well, soap and shampoo. I came out of the shower and smelled like a fruit salad in a flower shop.

     No matter who's in power, Liquor Stores ALWAYS make money.

     Christmas shopping turned me into the Mall Lot Stalker...”are you going out?”...”are you going out?”...hehehe...

     I think broadcasting Line of Duty Deaths over the Police radio from Operations is a somber reminder of sacrifices made by Officers over the years. I would however like to see them read by a sworn officer, and list the cause of death; bomb, gunshot, accident, etc. so we don't become complacent during our tours. When it's not in use-my mourning band resides on the epaulet of my shirt, a reminder if you will that Death can lurk anywhere.

     You know you've had too much red wine, when you look in the mirror and your teeth make you look like a Dickens' character...

     Since when has the word “incompetent” become a racist code word? It's not like you're saying “Golf” or “Chicago”...

     A California woman has lost her Worker's Compensation along with her freedom after she was seen dropping her crutches, and running to meet her lover in a public park. The two then engaged in a sex act that placed the woman in a compromising position that medically could not have been supported by her allegedly broken ankle.

     Why is it that every one else can have a bad day, EXCEPT cops?

     An Iowa woman was fired from her job after her boss (OK, HIS WIFE!) said she was too attractive. Iowa Supreme Court upheld the dismissal. Guess I'll never have to worry that could happen to me...

     I had an opportunity to go to a public gun range with some relatives. Granted the conditions are luxurious (indoor,heated, well lit,etc) but the shooters are serious. These folks enjoy shooting, and almost all of them were more than competent with their weapons. It's ironic to think there are some cops who don't take firearm training seriously. Hopefully I/we NEVER have to fire a shot during our tour, but at least If we do we should be proficient with our sidearm.

      Proving that hair dye may indeed cause brain damage, Sports broadcaster Bob Costas went on an anti gun rant, during a Sunday Night Football telecast. Calling for stricter gun controls, and spewing misleading or incorrect facts, Costas was inspired by Fox contributor Jason Whitlock. Whitlock for those of you who don't know likened the NRA to the KKK, claiming the NRA's pro gun politics are just as harmful to black communities as the hooded racists. Neither was criticized by their bosses or sanctioned in any way, citing Freedom of the Press and Right to Free Speech...OK, I'LL AGREE, just as soon as you bring back Hank Williams Jr...

     Why do people want to argue with the Police? We are bound by the laws we uphold, and after explaining why or why not we're taking certain actions, that should be the end. The Court is the forum for debate, not the street. Yet these same folks, pay their taxes without question, don't bang on the door of the store when it's closed for the night DEMANDING they be let in, wait in line at the sandwich shop without cutting, and on and on...So why question US? We're just doing our job, giving us just a modicum of respect and cooperation will go a long way towards ending our interaction in the briefest possible time.

     At this point Medical Professional force me to inform all readers that continuing this article while seated may cause your legs to fall asleep-if the rest of you isn't already...

     The City of Boston is working on a plan to put “parklets” in empty parking spaces. A parklet is some astro turf, a bench and a potted tree or something along those lines, level with the curb, and taking up to three parking spaces. And where are the cars supposed to go? How about placing them in front of hydrants, that way no one loses a spot, the City gets its patio, and in the event of an actual fire, the stuff can be easily moved, after you wake up the bum sleeping on the bench of course. File under”Walk or Die”

     Conservative talk radio is being run out of town it appears, after 1200 AM Rush radio switched to an all comedy format (now you can laugh as Rome burns) and WTKK 96.9 FM is soon to be a music channel. Among those let go, was talk show host Michael Graham, whose contract was not renewed. As a 1/16^th Cherokee, I'm wondering how quickly our Senator elect will rush to the aid of her tribal brother???

     Got to love those Chevy Volt commercials-think of how happy all six dopes that bought them were to be in the same room!

     A 62 year old Cushing man will serve jail time after assaulting his estranged wife “with his genitalia”. I read this in the “Bangor Daily News”! (Can't make this stuff up!) Upon his release he will become the new spokesman for Viagra.

     If a deer runs out in front of a car decorated as Rudolph, and an accident occurs, does the responding Trooper dispatch them both?

     In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, the town of Breezy Point, NY was hit with 14 B&E's around Thanksgiving. The town had 0 the year before. File under “Looters will be Shot-NOT”

     I'm convinced that Zombies would starve to death if they feasted on the electorate-there's nary a brain in the bunch!

     Why Winter may be better than Summer...

You can always put on another layer of clothes, but if you take off too much you could be arrested

If you drink a hot coffee or cocoa, it warms you, but drinking ice cold water just makes you sweat more

After being inside, you stay warm for a little while at least, but emerge from an air conditioned spot, and you are immediately clammy...

     The rich may indeed get richer, but the poor never get poorer.

     After Gov Patrick announced In State (free!) tuition to illegals as well as EBT benefits, I'm beginning to think Biden was partly right when he said “put y'all in chains” only I'm thinking he meant anyone with a job!

     Speaking of illegals, looks like Onyango Obama (Uncle Omar) will get another hearing on his immigration status. Uncle Omar was ordered out of the US on two previous occasions in 1970 and again in '92, but never left, continuing to work and even buy a house, all the while hiding in plain sight. Officials at ICE say while almost all illegals get only one hearing, three are seldom granted. Anyone want to place a wager on the outcome?

     Liberals claim guns are responsible for crime. If that's the case, let's put guns in jail, and have the criminals move in with the Liberals. Put up or shut up!

     In New York City two left wing liberal children of privilege, who may be affiliated with the Occupy Movement, were arrested at their Greenwich apartment in possession of illegal weapons, bomb making materials and terrorist booklets. Aaron Greene (31) who attended Harvard and girlfriend Morgan Gliedman (27), from a prominent New York family, were taken into custody after a NYPD raid. The pregnant Gliedman went into labor during her arraignment delivering a baby girl. I hope they never see that child until she graduates college. Funny how this got little play in the media. I'd bet if it were two Tea Party members, the story would have knocked the fiscal cliff off the front page. I wonder who these two voted for...

     You've got to love the ad soliciting donations for the Special Olympics. In it the announcer calmly boasts “no annoying jingles”! Take THAT 1-877-Cars-4-Kids.

     We've all done details and dealt with complaints from contractors or citizens who have been inconvenienced. They run the gamut of the privileged demanding you shut down operations and let them pass (always reminds me of the end of Trading Places-when one of the Duke's is yelling “turn the machines back on!”), the stupid who ignore all your safety precautions and walk right into the work area, or the junkies and bums who always seem to have a comment, and know how to do YOUR job better than YOU do. The problem arises when they call the Mayor's Office, 9-1-1, HQ or the station to complain, some on their Obamaphones. Now most of us do our job on details, we're there, trying to insure the safety of pedestrians and keep the motoring public, well...motoring. We're yelled at, given the “finger” ,or the incessant beeping horn., but we do our best under sometimes trying circumstances. I'm not being a crybaby here, I'm just wondering...who do WE call to complain about THEM? Can we call the Contractor's Coalition? The Snob Association? Or the Bum Union?

     In order to settle a lawsuit brought by an organization run by the daughter of our first Native American Senator, Massachusetts was obliged to send out voter registration info to the States' Welfare recipients. About 19000 came back “return to sender-no forwarding address”.I guarantee our esteemed legislators will rant and rave for sound bites, and photo ops then do absolutely NOTHING! How about showing some fiscal responsibility and CANCEL those EBT cards, at least until the cardholder comes forward, and re-establishes contact with the Dept of Transitional Assistance? File under: “Missing, Inaction.”

     “God helps those who help themselves.” The Government helps those too lazy to try!

     The Religion of Peace celebrated September 11^th with attacks on the US Embassy in Egypt, and our consulate in Benghazi, Libya. 4 Americans were killed including the Ambassador to Libya. An obscure anti-muslim film was blamed for the carnage, and our UN Ambassador Rice sang that party line, even after it was determined Al-Queda & the Taliban were behind the raids. As of this writing-NOTHING has been done to avenge our fallen-except give these countries more $$$$.

     Considering the cult of personality that surrounds Obama, I have to wonder why it's OK to place political signs on public property but not a Nativity? Don't think so? Check out the painting of dear leader on display at Bunker Hill CC, showing Obama in a crucifixion like pose. Can you say separation of church and state??? Or maybe Jamie Foxx referring to him as “our lord and savior Barack Obama” will convince you...

     A new study shows using a laptop in the dark or late at night can cause depression-especially if you followed the election results.

     A cop at the tragic Sandy Hook school shooting asked “why did God let this happen?” during an interview. I saw this response online: “Sorry my son, I'm not allowed in school-God” Makes you think, doesn't it?

     And now for the moment you've all been waiting for: my election recap!

Q1 passed allowing you to avoid the $150/hr dealer labor rates and get your car fixed wherever you want.

Q2 passed allowing you to kill yourself. I suggest all who voted for this take advantage-the sooner the better, or as my man Ebenezer Scrooge said”better get to it and decrease the surplus population” Q2 was so poorly defined, that its authors asked it not be implemented.

Q3 passed allowing medical use of marijuana in Massachusetts despite Federal Law outlawing pot under any circumstances. Wonder if AG Holder will sue a-la Arizona? If it does go through, I have a metric ton of Twinkies stashed, and will sell them to the HIGHEST bidder...

Sen Scott Brown was defeated by Elizabeth (I'm an Okie down to my toes!) Warren. Massachusetts citizens haven't been this excited about an Indian since Squanto showed up. In order to show my support I've told everyone I know to check the box marked Native American on any and all applications and such.

Obama won-Romney lost. Look for policies and appointments that will lead us to European-style Socialism, or worse...