In
my relationship with my phone, I'm the “smart” one.
I'm
proud of the fact that I cannot recognize ANY of the “Real
Housewives”
Why
is it, when you go to the Doctor's they always say watch how much you
eat, watch how much you drink. You're never told to drink more beer
and have more sex...
Washington
D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray has made a generous offer to the Washington
Redskins. His honor has promised funds for a new stadium, on the
condition the team change it's name from the “offensive” slur on
Native Americans...may I suggest Bullets, Snipers, or Crooks to
reflect the neighborhood??
Speaking
of football, Baltimore linebacker Ray Lewis went out on top, after
the Ravens won the Super Bowl. The hype surrounding Lewis' retirement
rivaled the big game itself. At every stop, there was the obligatory
shot of Lewis crying. After football Lewis could become the first
male spokes-model for mascara-his eyeblack never ran, no matter how
severe the waterworks. The only guy who cried more than Ray this past
year was Speaker of the House Boehner!
President
Obama is urging changes in football to reduce injuries. He must be
the only guy who enjoyed the Pro Bowl! If he institutes all the
restrictions by 2016 the big game will be known as the “Safer
Bowl”.
In
the next election, I won't vote with my head or my wallet, I'll be
voting with my (30 round) magazine.
A
guy I know went on break with an electric cigarette. He came back two
days later when the battery wore out...
Rapper
Rick Ross was shot and as a result of his injuries crashed his car-I
didn't even know he had turned his life around!
The
“Go Daddy-Kiss” commercial during the Super Bowl made me throw
up in my mouth a little bit.
During
the Physical Aptitude Testing, prior to becoming a Police Officer,
applicants are required to hold a revolver at arms length and pull
the trigger several times then repeat with the other hand. For a Fire
Fighter, the PAT is similar, except you use a TV Remote...
At
the rate we are being disarmed, soon we'll all be eating steak with
plastic sporks!
When
you rob Peter to pay Paul, eventually Paul will tire of being a
victim.
A
hidden danger to electric cars is also one of their selling points.
It seems the hybrids are too quiet when running on battery power, and
several pedestrians have had close calls with the near silent autos.
Although considering the idiocy of some pedestrians with their
texting and iPhone comas, this may just be Darwinism.
Is
the money lost on parking meters during recent snow emergencies
offset by tags and tows? Speaking of the aforementioned Snow
Emergencies, with no cars on the road, parked or moving, WHY didn't
they plow curb to curb? Oh and Gov Patrick, I went out for a joy ride
2 hours AFTER you overstepped your authority and ordered private
citizens off the roads.
Boston
University Professor Pedro Laserte, who teaches “Romance Languages”
was sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to hitting a female
acquaintance with brass knuckles...and I thought French was the
International Language of Love!
Well
it's Lent, and I'm trying not to eat meat on Friday's. Considering
some of the rotten things I've done, if I end up in Hell, it most
likely won't be the result of pepperoni pizza.
Doctors,
athletes, politicians, etc are always downing fast food, and sugary
drinks, BUT that doesn't stop them from having MacDonald's and
Coca-Cola from sponsoring sporting events, and the Olympics.
Funny,
we pay pro athletes millions, and don't care if they're covered with
tattoos, no matter how tasteless. They provide nothing but
entertainment and the occasional role model. Meanwhile, candidates
for Law Enforcement and the Military are not accepted or censored for
having some ink, get paid shit, and provide the blanket of security
we all prosper under-go figure!
I
don't use my cell phone to report driving jerks, because sometimes
it's ME!
When
I look at the sheets of salt laid down during snowstorms, I often
wonder if Car Washes and Body Shops pay for it...
I
can't help but chuckle to myself when I hear the “all-out”
broadcast to transport people in need of shelter during inclement or
extremely cold weather, YET people complain if they drive by a detail
and see a cop warming up.
Whenever
I hear that song “Moves Like Jagger” I picture someone dancing
around with a cane or a walker. Really, Sir Mick is almost 70!
Lately
it seems we don't have Law & Order, we have Law, or Order.
President
Obama is using the tried and true Democratic tactic of scaring the
public with dire forecasts of anarchy, and threats of cuts to local
aid to pressure House Republicans to raise taxes in the face of
sequestration. The across the board spending cuts will kick in March
1st, if a deal is not struck. Dear leader wants taxes
raised, and cuts to military and defense spending but the House is
defying him, claiming other cuts are available, and refusing to pile
on the middle class any further after about 77% of working Americans'
taxes were raised to avoid the Fiscal Cliff. Obama AGREED to the
original deal, but now seems poised to heap the blame on the
Republicans. If they cave-it's all over! Before the Government starts
cutting jobs, maybe they should start cutting fraud and waste. How
many Obama voters will get the axe, or a pay cut (at least 47% WON'T)
? And who will get the blame in the complicit media? The Republicans,
the Tea Party, and Conservatives!
Need
more proof the media is biased? Republican whiz kid Marco Rubio of
Florida was pilloried for grabbing a drink of water before making a
speech. He was even satirized on Saturday Night Live...BUT... Senator
Menendez of New Jersey has been implicated in a scandal involving
questionable donations, sketchy junkets, and sex with underage
prostitutes in the Dominican Republic, and you'll have to look hard
to find it outside the Right Wing outlets. The difference between the
two? With an “R” after your name, drinking water gets you
national attention, and ridicule, but allegedly banging underage
girls on vacation and taking money and trips from an indicted donor
garners barely a ripple with a “D” following...
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