Tools of
Immediate Means
Does
anyone else find it hard to stir up some sympathy for Marathon Bombing suspect
Dzokhar Tsarnaev, because he’s having a hard time in prison?
I got laryngitis, and my wife refused to
take me to the doctor’s...
I’m always amazed at how
gullible the voting public is. Every election
cycle
aspiring politicians have a plank in their platform for education. If these
nitwits EVER came through on that campaign promise, Harvard and Yale would be
having fistfights over Public School grads.
If you were yoga pants and they look
wrinkled, maybe you shouldn’t…
How does someone with no
job manage to come up with $5000 for bail, ON A SUNDAY?!?!
It should be a law that all signs for losing
candidates be removed within 48 hours of the Primary…
Why don’t they accept
cash on a plane? It’s not like you’d get far after the robbery…
Once again the ear leader has proven he can
do things better than Bush-Obama’s approval rating is now at 37% after only 5
years in office-it took Bush 7 years to sink to that level!
I got kicked out of Mensa
for being the smart…ASS!
I will agree with Liberals that crazy people
should not be allowed to carry guns, but I doubt they will reciprocate and
agree that crazy people should not be allowed to vote.
A disgruntled, insane Defense
contractor stormed the Washington DC Navy Yard. Armed with a shotgun he
terrorized the site, killing 12 and wounding 3. Washington DC Mayor Gray called
the incident “isolated”. Obviously he’s NEVER looked at DC’s murder stats. OR,
if the incident IS isolated, then why do these Libs keep insisting the rest of
us be disarmed? Hmmmm
In an article that appeared on “the Blaze”-
it was reported that the FBI was informed Boston area mosques were
“radicalizing” young Muslims, including the Tsarnaev brothers. When are we
going to wake up? Oh, and don’t forget how the city gave them the land in a
sweetheart deal-talk about biting the hand!
After the horrific
Newtown Shooting, President Obama called for stricter gun control laws. He
claimed that if it saved just one child, trampling our Constitutional Rights
would be worth it. I wonder how surprised he was when Sen Harry Reid (DEMOCRAT)
said he wasn’t concerned about children with cancer getting lifesaving meds
during the Federal shutdown. Guess those kids only count as props when needed
by Harry & Barry.
Just to show the National Dems got nothing
on our locals, Rep Ben Swan (D) ope Springfield has filed a bill (for the 16th
time, no less) that would make cursing an offense punishable by termination for
Police Officers. I have two words for you Rep Swan, and they ain’t “Happy
Birthday!”
Conservative Dr Ben
Carson spoke out against Obamacare at the National Prayer Breakfast, panning
the bill despite its namesake being present. He soon thereafter found himself
facing an audit from the IRS, who found nothing, but decided to go back another
3 years “just in case”. BUT, don’t read anything into this; it’s all a
“coincidence”. If you believe that, you’re going to believe you can keep your
Cadillac Health Care for less money, too.
An amateur chemist in Hyde Park blew off
both his hands while “experimenting” with stuff in his apartment. I’m leaning toward
two possible explanations; a domestic terrorist, or too much “Breaking Bad”.
Either way the citizens of the Commonwealth will be footing the bill to give
this idiot a hand.
When was the last time
anyone in the US (without any other issues) actually starved to death? The way
these Libs carry on, you’d think, as cops that we’d be coming across emaciated
bodies at least once a week during our patrols.
In typical Liberal fashion, the taxpaying
public was punished during the Federal Government Shutdown. Monuments, parks,
even the Grand Canyon and Mt Rushmore were off limits. Only our Federal
Government could figure out a way to close a mountain, and a hole in the
ground. BUT, don’t fret, the barry-cades were moved to allow Illegal Aliens
free use of the National Mall for a rally while members of the Greatest
Generation were denied access to the WW 2 and Iwo Jima Memorials occupying the
same space. However, ear leader and his henchmen from the NPS were thwarted
when veterans removed the obstacles, ignored the officials, and stormed the
sights. These were the men that landed at Normandy; did that idiot in the White
House expect anything less?
Oh, and in case anyone
was wondering, it cost more to close the sights than it would have to leave
them open. Way to go! U-S-A! U-S-A!
EBT users in 17 states found out the hard
way what’s in store when the Government runs out of taxpayer cash for their
“entitlements”. For several hours, the cards wouldn’t work. In such cases,
transactions are supposed to be limited to $50 for emergency food and meds, but
retail giant Wal-Mart, allowed the carts to go through loaded with goodies,
over and above the $50 limit. In a show of good faith, the layabouts made sure
to grab up TV’s and other pricey electronics. Hey, after all when you’re
entitled, you’re entitled.
My brother in law is a
fireman, but I thought I had the last laugh when my little nephew wanted to go
out as a cop for Halloween. I told him it was because he didn’t want to sleep
through the candy grab. BUT, he changed his mind and his costume to Fireman
when my brother in law told he’d get 25% less candy as a cop.
%&&%&RFVJL IPOHUPIVJ
Just when you think you
have the crappiest job on the construction site, the guy shows up to clean the
port-a-potties.
Instructions for Obamacare will be available
in over 180 languages. Isn’t that how we ended up in this mess in the first
place?
On a recent trip to
Florida, I saw a Chik-Fil-A and decided to try the cuisine. I figured any place
that could piss off Mumbles deserved a shot. The doors were locked-apparently
those religious zealots close on Sundays. I managed to get by later in the week
and was so mad they were “banned in Boston”. Funny, the owner expressed an
opinion on gay marriage and was prohibited from opening in Boston, but the city
provided land for a mosque. Correct me if I’m wrong but Islam’s view on
homosexuality is quite harsher than just not allowing gays to wed, isn’t it?
Also seen in Florida, a cop on detail with a
lounge chair, umbrella for shade, and a cooler of water, who managed to perform
his duties without a hitch! Imagine the outcry here?
Florida also indulgences
in the banned in Mass tradition of “Happy Hour”. Those of you of an age can
remember discounted drinks, and scheduling your night around these bargain
buzzes.
More from Florida-I went to Hooters (just
for the wings of course) and couldn’t help but notice the table of Muslims,
close by. The smell of irony completely masked the fried chicken, as the wives
sat quietly in their hijabs while the nearly naked waitresses served the table.
Another Florida staple- I
“visited” was Krispy-Kreme (DAMN YOU! Dunkies) you can actually hear yourself
getting fatter just from the aroma, but you can’t stop eating those doughnuts!
I’m convinced there is crack in the glaze.
Brookline has banned plastic bags and
Styrofoam cups in favor of paper goods. With that many empty brown bags lying
around look for more ugly people having sex…
It must be an Italian
thing but we (Italians) constantly think about food. We’ve no sooner finished
breakfast, and then we start thinking about dinner. I’d like to say I think
about sex as often, but it’s easier to open the fridge!
A cop in Tennessee was fired after shooting
a squirrel that wandered in to a dollar store-terrifying the customers and
employees. He followed procedures regarding escalation of force after his OC
spray failed to stop the rampaging rodent, but the Officer was terminated for
wasting food.
Darius Rucker has found
success with his venture into country music, but does anyone know what he did
with the Blowfish? File under: “I give a hootie!”
Gentlemen, I’ve been criticized for making
what some may call chauvinistic comments, so to show I’m not biased, I implore
my fellow males to refrain from wearing short shorts. Despite however many
hours you spend in the gym no one wants to see you in your “DAISY DUDES”!
My next door neighbor
refers to my wife as “madam”, strangely enough, I do too. I call her “my damn
wife”…
Although they still use champagne to
celebrate big wins, baseball players now spray the bubbly while wearing riot
helmets and ski goggles. And the pansification of America continues.
I recently dropped my
party affiliation with the election department. I am now un-enrolled.
“Un-enrolled”? They make it seem like I’m missing something.
A North Dakota woman handed out notes to
chubby kids on Halloween instead of candy. The note expressed her opinion that
because the kid was overweight, she felt they should not get candy. I wonder
how long it took for her to get the TP off her trees and clean the eggs off her
house. Just shut your lights out next year you hag!
President Obama used the
NSA to spy on Germany’s President Angela Merkel. He wanted to know what the
world’s most powerful woman was up to. Now Oprah AND Michelle aren’t talking to
him!
A truck carrying radioactive material was
hijacked in Mexico. The semi was recovered with all the contents accounted for,
but one of the containers had opened, contaminating the truck. Authorities are
looking for the driver, fearing he could die from radiation sickness. He should
be easy to spot; he’ll be the guy glowing…
With all the forced
overtime to provide security when the local teams hit the playoffs, you’ll be
hard-pressed to find any fans of the Bruins, Patriots, Red Sox or Celtics among
the rank and file of the BPD.
I worked Halloween for the first time in
several years. I was amazed at the skimpy costumes sported by the local girls.
Sexy nurse, sexy schoolgirl, sexy cheerleader, etc. I even saw a sexy Muslim-her
burkha showed her ankles.
After making a nasty
comment regarding former Alaska Gov Sarah Palin, MSNBC host Martin Bashir found
himself in hot water. He has resigned. Looks like Marty’s in the $#!+
now. I guess eating crow will have to suffice in this case.
Funny, Mitt Romney hasn’t been Governor in MA
for several years, YET the state’s healthcare system is still referred to as
“Romneycare”. BUT after his signature legislation and Presidential legacy
“Obamacare” has proved to be a bust-it’s now being called “Affordable Care
Act”. Sorry Mr. President, this is your bill-OWN IT!
The Sriracha Hot Sauce
plant in Irwindale CA has been temporarily shut down after residents complained
the peppery odor was causing respiratory problems in the neighborhood. Many
homeowners were duped by the Real Estate agents claims the area was HOT HOT
HOT!
Have you ever noticed how sad most Christmas
decorations look during daylight hours? The snowmen are dingy, the deflated
Santa looks like trash, and the strings of lights look like cobwebs. BUT plug
‘em in at night and they become the Christmas miracle.
While I won’t call myself
“devout” I have been attending church lately. I’m having difficulty following
along since they’ve changed the wording to some of the prayers. The good
Sisters of Notre Dame spent long hours beating the catechism into me. The
lessons were so strong I’m looking around for Sister Henrietta and her ruler
when I say the new words. #Amen!
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